Mental Health

Anxiety is winning today

Hello Beans,

Today so far has been a very challenging day for my anxiety. It’s one of those days where I woke up and my anxiety was already at a high level. When you wake up breathless, sighing and yawning a lot on the verge of an anxiety attack you know it’s going to be a challenging day for your mental health. In order to try and help myself, I kept to my normal morning routine which was to do my workout and have some breakfast before having a shower. The problem on days like this is that my motivation for exercise also dissipates. I did the exercise but I didn’t put a lot of effort in and didn’t do it for long. Then afterwards I had a larger breakfast than I would normally have.

So, what do I do on my bad days?

  • I will take things a little slower. Rushing makes things works so I try to minimise the number of tasks I set myself.
  • My therapist has told me to write things down more often such as things you need to remember. If you write them down then you can forget about them and they won’t be something continuously on your mind.
  • Drink plenty of water – anxiety tires your body. I will often get a dry mouth.
  • Eat healthy – Especially on bad days. If I eat crappy food then I feel crappy.
  • Eat ginger– On bad days I feel nauseous and worry that I’m going to throw up (a phobia of being sick) so I eat ginger throughout the day to settle my mind.
  • Herbal Tea – normal 1-2 cups on bad days. Either chamomile or peppermint.
  • Focus on the now – I will tell myself. You’re in your living room. Sitting down. Blogging. Everything’s fine. Relax. Almost like giving yourself a pep talk.
  • Deep breathing – In through the nose, out through the mouth. It normally stops me from having a full blown anxiety attack but doesn;t do enough to help on bad days.
  • Positive thinking – I will talk aloud to myself but in a positive manner. Try to use positive wording rather than focus on the bad. This is very difficult for me to do.
  • Don’t let it hold you back – I have started avoiding saying the word anxiety a lot. Similar to positive thinking. I will focus on other things rather than focusing on my anxiety holding me down. Like a bully. If you ignore it they will go away. If you acknowledge it becomes a game.

Ok now let’s get to the main thing’s that are on my mind today. With my anxiety, I find that it plays up every day because there’s always something bothering me but on bad days it’s everything mushed into one. It comes back to bite me after several weeks of anxious thoughts.

What’s bothering me?

  • I need to ring the doctors – Ringing people is something I hate doing so avoid it when I can. I need to make a doctors appointment to find out blood test results and hopefully get put on some meds for my GAD / Depression.
  • Doctor diagnosis – I’m worried that when I do go to the doctors they won’t give me meds that I have told myself will help me because I’ve tried everything else.
  • My book – Now that I’m writing the last chapter of my book I’m worried that it’s not going to be good enough
  • I’m stressed and keep assuming that people are talking about me behind my back – judging me. I have found these thoughts to be worse since going Vegan.
  • Dying my hair – I’m dying my hair bright colours the day before my birthday and I’m worried that it’s not going to come out how I want.

A lot of the thoughts that bother me are ones that reflect on my lack of trust in my own abilities. I doubt myself and what I’m capable of. I also doubt other people and always assume the worst in others.  You will notice I have used the word ‘Worry’ a lot. It’s my biggest problem. It’s something I’ve always done. I’ve always been known as ‘The worrier’ since I was little. I would always make myself poorly.

Now. I know this is a bad day for me and I know that tomorrow may be a better or a worse day but it will get better at some point. My problem currently is that until I get the help I ned I’m having 70% bad days and 30% good. I have a major imbalance that is affecting my phyical and mental health.. Don’t get me wrong. This is just my version of anxiety for me and everyone no matter whether you’re even diagnosed has anxiety in their life. It’s about how you deal with that anxiety and seek help if you need it that makes all the difference to your quality of life.

I would love to hear your stories. Do you have any adivce or tips on how you cope on bad days? What thoughts are bothering you?

Please share your stories.

Thanks Bean

 

1 thought on “Anxiety is winning today”

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